| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|05:09 am] |
it should really be some sort of illegal to have to be up at this hour....
FOR THE DENTIST.
pfft.
Wisdom tooth getting pulled this morning.
way looking forward to that.
pfft.
ha.
love you guys
:") |
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| fuck you myspace |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|07:24 am] |
So like, Myspace isn't working.
So, I'll write here I guess.
Crazy weather started yesterday. During the day there were orange clouds, like orange, like real toxic looking clouds and shit. The sunset clouds were amazing. There were TWO rainbows. This visual stuck me enough to call Khadiiiiiiiiiiiija.
Later on....
Raining. And thundering, and lightning-ing like crazy hardcore.
SUPER BADASS.
and these weren't and pussy thunders, or lightning...they were fuckin huge and shit. I fuckin love it man.
Went to sleep listening to it.
Woke up to it.
Went back to sleep listening to it..
woke up again hearing it.
GUH-REAT.
:)
Hope it stays like this for a whlie. I doubt it..but it'd be nice.
So I've got like...10 minutes to write...
Things have really been getting me easily irritated lately.
Like....
Immature wee little youngins..which can apply to many things...And it does...
Pfft.
My foot is fucked.
Work will be fun on it.
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm,
yeah.
I can't think right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|07:21 am] |
Awww, lookit the 16 year old throwin around big bad words
hopemakills: yeah bitch why didnt you say shit to be punkass bitch
Auto response from oeooh KillerTofu: fuckers.
<3's to jessssssfaciepoodlypie
hopemakills: ill fuckin startg shit with you if youd like where your house my house wherever bitch ill fuck your fatass up
hopemakills: oh so tomorrow when i show up to your house or wherever i can find you dont fuckin say i didnt warn you fat bitch
hopemakills signed off at 7:04:43 PM.
hopemakills signed on at 7:06:01 PM.
hopemakills: oh yeah and try to get your lil gang on me because i have have a bigger one fuckin piussy ass bitch
hopemakills: fuckin now what do you have to say
hopemakills: nothin thats right cause your a lil scared bitch
hopemakills: dont try talking shit to me cause youll go down
hopemakills: watch your fuckin back hannah im not even jocking this time
hopemakills: *joking
hopemakills signed off at 7:27:51 PM.
hopemakills signed on at 8:48:09 PM.
hopemakills: werte fuckers your a pussy
and ANNNNNNNNND!
SO YOU GUYS SAY YOU WONT FUCK WITH ME BECAUSE OF MY AGE WELL THATS BULLSHIT NEXT TIME I FUCKIN SEE YOU GUYS IM NOT HOLDING BACK YOU PUSSY ASS BITCHES YOU GUYS NOE WHO YOU ARE KARLA AND HANNAH MOSTLY HANNAH THAT SHIT TALKING BITCH SHE WANTS TO FUCKIN TRY TO TALK SHIT ON AIM FUCKING BACK YOUR SHIT UP WHEN I FUCKIN TALK TO YOU BACK ALL THE BITCH CAN DO IS CALL US FUCKERS "O.M.G" WOW MAN HANNAH THAT HURTS MAYBE IT WILL HURT WHEN I SMASH YOUR UGLY FUCKIN FACE ON THE FLOOR BITCH AND YEAH IM NOT JUST TALKING SHIT ILL BACK IT UP FUCKIN TRY TO COME AT ME AND LIKE I SAID TRY TO GET YOUR LIL GANG ON ME ILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP BITCHES SOI THERE NOW YOU HAVE A REASON TO TRY TO FIGHT CAUSE TRUST ME IM READY DONT BE A PUSSY BACK YOUR SHIT UP BITCH
Haha.
all this shit is fucking making me laugh.
I mena, it's total bullshit and all...but come on.
LOL! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|07:43 am] |
I like to get input on my writings....
Mysterious numbers dwindle lower and lower into extinction.
Emotions are fought so hard not to let them out.
Sooner or later they will rise to the top,
overflowing your head - drowning it in subconscious thoughts,
dying to escape to be known.
The stars shone for us.
A lesson learned.
Stars are dimmer,
yet happier than they have been before.
Nothing knowingness is a fine place to be.
Expect the unexpected.
Prepare to be shocked.
If you go looking for something, it will never be found.
Patience is absolute key.
It does nothing to think of what could be.
Don't have your dreams fly too far up into the clouds.
Countless sleepless nights,
wasted hours not being able to go to sleep.
Not being able to clear my thoughts of everything aobut you.
Now it is done.
My dreams don't have a face anymore.
Once again, my heart shatters further into dust,
only to be blown away by more thoughtless souls
Not to be disturbed.
Not to have your life interrupted by anything, or anyone you could possibly care about.
I just give up sometimes.
Is anything really worth having these feelings over?
Will this patience last?
Will I ever be able to breathe easily,
without anything to worry about,
without anything to cry over?
Just let me breathe easy,
knowing that there is someone out there breathing easily for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|08:22 pm] |
daaaaaaaaaaaang
good ol goatse |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|07:01 am] |
so my birthday...
it's july 22 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2005|12:56 pm] |
man....
i really hate when i feel like shit and i can't put my finger on what it is. Y'know?
im not working this morning. but i go in at 3. interesting huh?
um um.
yeah.
im bored as a motherfucker.
every movie in this house i have watched....
nothing is on tv.
no one to talk to.
ha. Yep.
i really wanna cut my hair before friday. ubt it's not gonna happen. unless someone wants to give me 50 bucks? anyone?
my pops caught me smoking yesterday. that was great. i thought he was gona smack me or something...i was scurrred.
suprisingly enough, he didn't even yell at me.
i wanna go to the beach so effing bad.
i haven't been in like...forever.
I miss the nights just sitting there watching the sky and the waves while everyone else was talking.
good times.
I find i am most content when i am by myself.
enjoying a decent view.
or feeling the cold air breeze past me...
im totally a night person. mhmm.
that's when everything is at it's most prettiest.
i wanna paint, but i don't want to prep or clean up. haha. right.
watercolors are my friend..i haven't done anything artsy fartsy in a while.
i mean i've written puh-lenty.
dang.
my sketch book is like..full of writings almost.
egh.i really need...i dont need..
i really WANT something new in my life.
seriously...everyday is the fucking same old bull shite.
work.
see if im going out...(right)
sleep.
that's my day. everyday.
Maybe not the weekend.
on the weekends im home on my ass doing nothing.
suuuuuucks.
i miss this guy...
gosh erik.
if i had a car, believe me, I'd be with you a whole hell of a lot more often...
bummer.
* sigh X core *
alright.
Imma shower.
and get ready..
no need to look pretty today.
no one there to look decent for. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|11:11 pm] |
dearest livejournal,
how I've negleted you.
tonight is such a beautiful night.
i sit outside. clear my mind, and with every thought the wind shifts its direction.
nothing to look at but the sky, made white by the clouds in the air.
nothing to hear but the silence i want to hear.
nothing to feel but the cool wind against my arms and face, blowing my hair whichever way it decides.
it's just lovely. Ive got nothing to worry about.
absolutley nothing to be upset about.
thoughts just seem to slip away from my head.
i only want to think about what can make me calm inside and out.
i think about you.
i think about being with you.
just sitting.
no talking.
just watching and looking.
only feeling warm by eachothers presence.
nothing matters.
nothing can change this.
i am going to do what i need to make me feel at peace with myself.
it has come.
it has gone.
never completely of course, the thoughts are always just lingering by the faintest trace of sympathy.
but when i need to,
when i don't need these feelings in me anymore...
they will go.
and i,
will feel so wonderfully content.
i will sit by myself.
knowing i am,
all by myself.
and that is ok.
the time will come.
when you will be there.
and i won't worry anymore.
i will not let my head get so entangled, comsumed with these thoughts.
i will breathe.
and i will take things the way they come.
not to analyze.
not to think about.
just take it.
like i want you to take me.
just how it comes.
just how i come.
not to analyze.
not to have to pry into.
there are windows, you see,
these windows you see.
they can see you.
you can see the depths of the soul through these windows.
these blue, green speckled colored windows,
aching to open just for you
and you will love what's inside waiting to get out.
like a bird locked in a cage for so long...
hoping someone will come along and unlatch the lock
hoping someone can be able to let me stretch out my wings
let me fly.
let me feel these feelings.
this bird is tired of looking in the same old mirror.
tired of pecking at the same old things.
just let it out.
let it fly. |
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| wow. An update. |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|07:36 pm] |
Hm...
Lots of changes for Hannah within the last month or so...
I think I've just realized more about things goin on with me right now.
They're good changes...I think. Well...perhaps a few will suck...for a good amount of time..but you know, things happen for a reason I guess.
I've been writing a whole hell of a lot recently. Been up late not being able to fall asleep cos I think too much. Mhmm....I think of things...well dream wihle I'm awake really. I just want htings so so bad...and like, they're right in fucking front of me and I can't have 'em. It's like...a big fat giant slap in the face. Just a big, "Hey look at me. I know you waaaaaaaaaaaaant me. But you can't haaaaaaaave me."
Fuck that shit. I'll get it. Just gimmie some time. I need to save my money.
Yeah. And I'm done with all the bullshit I deal with. I'm seriously...like, over caring about it anymore. Is caring about it gonne get me anywhere besides feeling like shite? Nooooope. So why bother man? I'm tired of putting so much effort into things and not getting anything out of it.
YEP!
Good ol Hannah is back.
Hahhaa.
Yeah man.
Don't ask me to smoke or drink either please. I'm staying with the ciggies only...perhaps even cutting down on those too...
Don't ask why. Cos it's not like it's gonna make you say, "Oh. Good for you." I mean...unless you gave a flyin fuck.
I'm just gonna sit back....and let things happen.
Yep. Not gonna hold my tongue anymore. You bother me, you're gonna hear it.
works goin okay.
I so totally do not get paid enough for what I do. No one there does. Kinda fucked huh? Well...better than sitting on my ass all day doing nothing for myself. I wish I could ask for a raise, and like..get it. Pfft. Oh well.
aye.....
Just gimmie my car so I can drive to the beach everynight after work, with a notebook in my hands (or your hand in mine), and watch the sun go to sleep....
If only huh? Ha...gotta throw that corny romantic shit in there right?
WELL THEN.
I'm out foo's.
To do....
oh, nothing... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2005|11:07 am] |
Quick Information
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought that Wasnt Food:
1. Sweater
2. Black long sleeve button up
3. Make-up
4. Black claws, and glass swirlees fer me ears
2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
- agua
- juice
- agua
- sodie
3)Last time you had a real good Cry:
- egh. Dunno...Oh wait. When I couldn't get into Ozz that one night...super shitty night. Like..montsh ago though
4)What's In Your CD Player?
- lets see...John Lennon in Cd player. Pink Floyd on the turn table
5)What's Under Your Bed?
- Da floor yo
6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
- 6:30. But I fel lback asleep, and woke up at 8:30
7)Current Hair?
- bed head
8)Current Clothes?
- jamie pants. Black wife beater
9)Current Desktop Picture?
- Beatles
10)Current Worry?
- None
11)Current Hate?
- um...my gut
12)Favorite Place To Be?
- wildernesssss. Foresty is my favorite...but..don't have many chances to go there. SO! BEach at night home fry
13)Least Favorite Place?
- ...anywhere with a lot of people
14)If You Could Play An Instrument?
- IF? Pffffffffft. I play the drooms
15)Favorite Colors?
- black..purple
16)How Tall Are You?:
- too tal. 5' 10"
17)Favorite Expression?
- MMF
18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To?
- uh....No one i guess...
19)Favorite Day(s)?
- Day = whenever I don't have to work
- Days = Fall
20)Where Would You Like To Go?
- Switzerland with my lovie
21)Where do you want to live when you get married?
- anywhere rural
22)Favorite food?
- thai. No no...indonesian
23)Color of most clothes you own?
- black
24)Number of pillows you sleep with?
- 6. Hahaha
25)What do you wear when you go to sleep?
- jamie pants...tank top....nothing under either
26)what were you doing 12AM last night?
- dreaming...
27)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?
- HOPEFULLY ill be a famous designer... ;)
28)Do you have braces?
- nuh
29)Are you paranoid?
- ha. Yeah man. Sometimes
30) Do you burn or tan?
- See. It's a cycle. I burn cos im a white mother fucker, THEN i tan if I'm lucky
31)What is the brand of your wallet?:
- pff. Tiger Print
32)First piercing/tattoo:
- Ears. And wrist
33)First enemy?
- ....no one. Life's to short to have fuckin enemies
36)Last thing you ate?
- 'Sghetti
37)If you could be a pirate, would you?
- MHMM!!!
38)If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
- Eithr good grades to go to a good school, or a lot of money to go to a good school
39) If you could be with anyone right now, who would it be?
- ah....April of course... |
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| Do you feel like an asshole? Cos I do. |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|10:18 pm] |
Wow. I feel super detatched from everyone, and everything right now. Suppose I'm going through another one of those fuck EVERYTHING apathetic spells. Y'think?
It's gettin down to it.
Like, it's just the same ol bullshit that's going on.
I say I'll never be treated like that again, and it happens again. And I forgive it again...and again, and again...
Egh.
I need something new in my life. It's totally there right now. Just a matter of two people acknowledging it I guess. Mhmm. I totally dig on her. Like, a lot. Constant smiles when I'm around her. And trying not to laugh for 5 minutes doesn't work for a second. Chaaaaaa. But do I want to get involved in something? I know it's possible with her for serious... Aye. I suppose I need some assurance from the other side. But I don't wanna be a crazy clingy bitch.
Haha.
Whateverrrrrr.
Yeah.
I just wanna go to the beach and have a discussion. But everyone is out and partying and dancing and swinging and being with people they enjoy being around.
lrstgbae;iuerhgpiyrew975t394ugh3948ht;wjb4ekj34;tkjerhfg0.
Nice. UGH came out in my subconcious typing. Haha.
night everyone. |
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| here we go |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|08:03 pm] |
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power,
and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
-Jim Morrison, in Beauty |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|08:04 am] |
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what in the hell is going on? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|08:15 pm] |
Boo.
I look super cute today. And no one to show. :( And no camera. :( x 2
'Cept the girlies at work. ;)
and some of the clients who alsways come in. ;)
Aw.
I felt pretty today.
It'd been a while. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|07:50 pm] |
what the eff?
Why am I always the one calling people to go out?
At lunch...I see what's up.
After work, I see what's up.
When I'm effing bored, I see what's up.
CHA!
I never get calls. It's like...depressing. :(
Uh.
My feet smell real bad. I washed em twice...and they still smell. Poop. I need to wash those damn shoes is what it is.
Alright.
Banana out. |
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